Slav: The Unfathomable Situation

So here we are once more, huddled together like penguins, waiting for the news diligently, the news that doesn’t come.

I feel like I have been here before. That’s right, last September, following the 4-2 defeat by Watford. This is not a case of I told you so (as I prepare to say I kind of told you so), but Super Slav, is really not that super.

I mean, he’s lovely and I like the fact that he goes to rock concerts and wears band t-shirts and the players like him and all of that stuff, but when it comes to managing the football club, he’s just not that super. There, I said it.

As stated, there we were. Cold and cross at the London Stadium, wondering why we bothered as Zabaleta gave away a stonewall penalty and we stared down the barrel of a 3 – 0 defeat, to a team just promoted and with the greatest respect, were no great shakes.

Except of course, I was not there. I had already sold my season ticket on the exchange as the thought of watching West Ham again after the Swansea fixture, where we scraped home in the dying embers, by the skin of our teeth, did not fill me with the joy.  

I watched it of course from the comfort of my living room, knowing full well that the forty quid for my ticket sits comfortably in my e-ticketing account. Of course, I mean £27, after the club takes its cut, but I’m assured this money goes on ‘community-based’ projects, whether I like it or not.

What I’m saying is not that, ‘I am so clever, dodged a bullet’ etc. more that it was so clear what could have potentially happened that my head told me to stay away, even if my heart said otherwise.

This really is quite tragic. I have been on the waiting list for a new season ticket after not renewing when we left the Boleyn. I was excited for this season, having fought off my demons regarding the new stadium and the corporate facelessness that seemed to be the direction in which we were going.

I guessed I was ready to forgive all of that, as performances on the pitch were what mattered and given our recruitment over the summer, we had a fighting chance of doing better this season.  How wrong I was!

Despite the excitement of some big name summer signings, the same cracks were there, glaring, from the season before. Carroll and his injury woes are a running theme, the inability to strengthen at the back since the departure of James Tomkins, the gap left by Payet going forward. I mean Mikhail Antonio can only have so much gas in the tank and on Friday night, it appeared all of his endeavour and spark, had been replaced by frustration and malcontent.

Like a battered partner, hurt and upset after the Swansea performance, I knew I had to think carefully about how to move forward. I was wary and kept my distance against Brighton but knew that the disappointment of such a humiliating result will force action, will make the change. Sadly, I was wrong.

It is clear to most, probably to Slav himself, that the game is up. It has since transpired that he said his goodbyes and offered to leave a number of games ago after the same result at Newcastle. I mean, what other message do the board need, when their manager throws in the towel so early on? Is this Slav feeling the heat or is he admitting he does not know what to do?

We face the same situation as we did this time last year. A manager who for whatever reason is not getting the job done and leading the team into a potential struggle, a possible relegation battle, yet the owners deciding to ‘give him two more games.’

Personally, I find nothing more insipid and disappointing than this vapid response. What do they expect? What can anyone gain from this situation? Let’s discuss the options.

Option 1 – West Ham United, by some miraculous intervention from a higher power, get home against a rampant Spurs side and beat Palace away. Bilic stays and another disappointing season follows.

Option 2 – West Ham United beat Spurs somehow and lose to Palace. Although beating Spurs away is a feeling second to none, we will be deep in the relegation zone and will most probably be looking at another big team in the Caribou Cup.

Option 3 – West Ham United lose heavily to Spurs and beat Palace. A mini-reprieve in the league, but how likely are we to get a result at Selhurst if we are battered by a scarily in form Tottenham?

Option 4 – beaten by both, same position, except the players are more delusioned, lacking confidence, we are out of a cup and staring down the barrel in the league.

My fairly laboured point, is that this inertia and fear of change, is almost certainly going to cost us. No-one wants to sack a manager, I would have loved it if Slav worked, but it hasn’t. He could and in my book should have gone this time last year and we are quite clearly going backwards now.

I am grateful to the owners for a number of things, but not for this. The feeling in the camp is too relaxed, there is no real pressure (except for the fans), there is no urgency among players or staff. We have become a mini-Arsenal, the fans forced to accept a fate we do not really deserve.

Smash and Grab - West Ham 0 - Tottenham Hotspur 1

The Premier League recommenced with a mouth watering tie at Upton Park, as the two London rivals met in front of a sell out crowd at the Boleyn Ground. 

Typically, there had been much unrest in East London in the run up to the new season. Despite six summer signings and manager Sam Allardyce smashing the club’s transfer record, many sections of the Hammer’s faithful remained unhappy. Pre-season had hardly been a success and there seemed no evidence of the attacking football Allardyce had been politely told to play by his employers. I reminded myself that Rome was not built in a day and made the trip to Upton Park full of high hopes for the current campaign. 

The game started brightly, in particular for the visitors who had in the most part been worryingly quiet in pre season. It was clear Pochettino’s mantra of close, concise play had been instilled and as a result, West Ham enjoyed very little time on the ball. That being said there were glimmers of hope. New singings Aaron Cresswell and Cheikhou Kouyate looked impressive and there appeared to be a new resilience and in my eyes at least, an attempt to play the ball on the ground in an attacking style. 

We more than matched the visitors in the opening exchanges but in all honesty there was very little to write home about in the first half. So much so, I got carried away watching events in one of the boxes. A group of lads draped a Lazio flag from the box. Security, came twice to ensure it was moved cue vociferous chants of ‘Viva Lazio’ from the Alpari Lower and Trevor Brooking. It was replaced with a picture of a walrus and the words ‘BFS we love you.’ Far more to Security’s liking. 

It appears I was not the only one who was slightly underwhelmed by the football as a lively supporter made his way on to the pitch and after running the full length of it, stopped to take a shot with the match ball. This was potentially the first shot of target and sparked the crowd into life as he left rotund security guards in his wake before being wrestled to the ground and dismissed. 

West Ham continued to pressure the Tottenham box and from a corner, the ball landed at Kevin Nolan’s feet who hit the ball goalward. Kyle Naughton raised his arms and after much remonstration by the home team and deliberation from the officials, a penalty kick was awarded. Naughton’s block was deemed to be deliberate and he was in turn given his marching orders. 

Celebrations were wild, the crowd erupted into ‘it’s happening again’ because Mark Noble doesn’t miss penalties. Until now. The ball skewed wide of the left hand post and Tottenham were handed a new lifeline. Still 11 played 10 and West Ham were certainly in the ascendancy. 

The second half started again with pressure from the home side. There was an attempt to pass and keep the ball, more than I saw at any stage last season. However, the luck was not on our side and the likes of Stewart Downing and Carlton Cole huffed and puffed but sadly to no avail. Tottenham did continue to threaten on the break and with the arrival of Lewis Holtby and Andros Townsend, the pace of the threat augmented. 

James Collins was booked for a cynical challenge, which stopped a Tottenham attack and not long after with Adebayor in a fairly innocuous position, he decided to aggressively barge the forward to the ground and referee Chris Foy correctly sent him off. 

Alarm bells begun to ring around the stadium as Tottenham’s belief rose their chances grew. 

Bentaleb forced a diving save from fan favourite Adrian and the West Ham defence begun to look shakier as time wore on. 

Allardyce introduced Guy Demel for Joey O’Brien, presumably for a niggle of some description. Mo Diame appeared in place of the ineffective Vaz Te but the greatest applause was saved for new signing Enner Valencia who arrived in place of beleaguered Carlton Cole. 

Valencia looked lively from the off and chased balls that Carlton wouldn’t have even jogged for, winning West Ham an unlikely corner in the process. The game ebbed and flowed, both sides threatened, but in the 94th minute, Tottenham broke and Erik Deer on debut was put through on goal, rounded the keeper and placed the ball perfectly into Adrian’s net. 

As the away fans went wild, the home ones left in their droves, just in time to see a Spurs fan, who had clearly overexcited himself, being removed by the stewards. Smiling and inciting the Trevor Brooking Lower during his exit, events certainly took a darker turn, most certainly for the female security guard tasked with restraining a large handful of East London’s finest at melting point. 

Back to the football and despite the disappointment of the result, West Ham played rather well in my opinion. Downing, Cole and Vaz Te were decidedly poor yet despite this, had the ever reliable Mark Noble converted, I think we would have won comfortably. No-one in the ground would have wanted to score more than he, so it was heartwarming to hear chants of Mark Noble straight after the miss. 

Kouyate looks like a fantastic player, big strong and playing for the shirt. Tin minutes of Valencia was not enough but again he looks like a handful. Cresswell did well and surprisingly Nolan put in a very good shift. Rumours abound that he returned to pre-season fitter than ever, perhaps worrying about his place in the side? This can only be a good thing. 

Ravel Morrison is back in training too and Diame looked tricky when he came on, so I am afraid I am not jumping on the Sam out bandwagon just yet. It’s Crystal Palace next week and if the football gods are evening scores like it felt today, it surely has to be an away win for the Hammers. 

Adrian 6

O’ Brien 6

Reid 7

Collins 4

Cresswell 7

Kouyate 9

Noble 7

Nolan 7

Vaz Te 5

Downing 6

Cole 4 

Demel 6

Diame 7

Valencia 7

West Ham United 3 - 3 West Bromwich Albion

Sam's 'must win match' ends in a draw as West Ham's inability to hold a lead costs them dear once again.

Big Sam stuck with the team that valiantly went down to Arsenal two days previously and was rewarded early on when some intelligent and neat interplay by the much maligned Kevin Nolan, landed at Joe Cole's feet who made no mistake from 12 yards out, beating Ben Foster at his near post.

As the sun beat down on the Boleyn Ground, there was a brief feeling of joy, was this going to be the day we finally fulfilled our potential? The crowd certainly needed something to cheer, if Twitter rumours are to be believed, young protege Ravel Morrison had indeed handed in a transfer request adding to the Hammers woes over the festive period.
In addition to this, David Gold tweeted the return estimations for some of our bigger players. Early suggestions had predicted big Andy Carroll on the bench for this game, not to be, he is apparently out for another 3/4 weeks. Cue collective groan.

As such, an early goal was well needed, but rather than force forward and get that vital second, West Ham, a team with little belief at present found themselves on the backfoot, being outpassed by a belligerent and hungry West Brom outfit.

The cause was not helped by James Tomkins being subbed after eight minutes due to injury. Might I add what a stellar attitude this lad has got. In addition to his personal troubles at the present time, as the board for Guy Demel went up to indicate the sub, Tomkins waved it away and tried to run off his injury up and down the sidelines. His grimace of pain said enough and eventually the substitution was made. If we had eleven players with the courage and heart of Tomkins, I feel we would not be getting these continually disappointing results.

A surprise bonus of the festive period is the imperious return to form of Matt Jarvis. A goal against Spurs and some excellent displays continued today as he wreaked havoc down the left flank. That being said, despite the pressure and Carlton Cole causing a nuisance up front, there were no more first half goals to ease the mounting pressure on the West Ham back four. It must also be added with the removal of Tomkins, West Ham had no recognised centre backs playing. McCartney filled in magnificently, Joey O'Brien certainly struggled.

It was indeed the signs of a makeshift defence when Chris Brunt provides a killer pass that beat the offside trap and found Anelka, who slotted effortlessly past the recalled Jussi Jaaskelainen late in the second half. The ground fell under a spellbound silence, something that has become all too familiar this year.
 
It did not take the Baggies long to take the lead. A corner which perhaps should have been a goal kick was cleared off the line by big Carlton Cole and fell at the feet of Anelka, who prodded home his second is as many minutes. West Ham went into the changing room 2-1 down.

West Ham started the second half timidly and found themselves under increasing pressure from a resurgent West Brom side. The home fans were getting tetchy to say the least, more from the distinct lack of fight than their lack of quality. Anelka found himself in on goal again, two minutes after the restart but a good save by Jussi kept the Frenchman from sealing a ten minute hat-trick.

Modibo Maiga came on a the interval for the carded Carlton Cole and begun to make an impact, forcing a fingertip save from Ben Foster for a West Ham corner. Just two minutes later in the 65th minute, a beautiful curling left-foot shot by Maiga, bounced in front of Foster and found its way into the back of the net and built some belief around the Boleyn. The noise level was up again, the crowd roared into life (my throat is still sore!) and West Ham went on the attack again.

Maiga again was integral as he nodded on Noble's cross to the waiting Nolan, who dare I say it, athletically, poked in from six-yards out-3-2 West Ham! This couldn't be happening? Written in the stars perhaps? Beleaguered captain scores crunch game winner in East London...

Predictably it was not to be, as the impressive Berahino eased past Guy Demel two minutes later and slotted neatly past Jaaskaleinen. Although a sweet finish from a tight angle, I do feel Adrian might have had this one covered. Either way it was 3 - 3 after a mad eight minutes and a nervy finish for the East London side.

West Ham were either exhausted, flat or did not care in the final 20 minutes as this was the poorest spell of the game for the team. They were outrun and outplayed by the Baggies and Berahino was unlucky not to have grabbed the winner with a sweet, curling free kick that hit the corner of the upright. Jussi stood cemented to the spot for the fifth time this season. Mercifully, this one did not result in an opposition goal.

The game ended with a chorus of boos and I was adamant Big Sam would have to be releived of his duties after this one. The chairmen wanted 6 points from the festive period, we had 2 points with one to play.

My only conclusion is that there is so much that needs managing behind the scenes that it would be dangerous to get rid of the big man just now. I don't really buy into the concept of 'if you were in this situation, you would appoint Allardyce' philosophy, he has got us into this situation.

That being said, there are two sides to every argument. The first being managing this horrific injury list, a team with no morale, clearly a difficult and bullish young starlet etc.  The other side is the short-sighted signings, the negative tactics, the distinct lack of fight from key players at the moment, our shocking return from free kicks and corners at the moment (I thought Big Sam was a master of the set piece?)

Either way, its tough work being a Hammer at the moment - do spare a thought for us. Happy new year, to all and here's hoping 2014 can start brightly in an away game at Fulham where quite frankly anything can happen.

Jussi 5
You were right first time Sam - his time has gone
JOB 4
Very poor - out of position - a fish out of water
G McCartney 7
Fought tirelessly
Tomkins 5
Injured after 8 minutes
Rat 6
Played well - needs to improve his forward balls
Noble 5
Mediocre today - very negative when passing
Diame 3
Where is the fight?
Jarvis 7
Played well - had bottle -created chances
Nolan 6
Scored a goal - was ineefective otherwise in midfield
Cole 6
Worked hard - well taken goal
C.Cole 6
Gave it his limited all


Maiga  7*
Turned the game - something to be positive about
Collison 6
Ran around a lot
Demel 5
Disappointing - Berahino made him look a bit silly for the third goal

West Ham 1-3 Arsenal

A better performance by the Hammers still ended in defeat, as Arsenal turned up the heat at the top of the table.
West Ham fielded a much-changed side from games' past as Maiga made way for Carlton Cole and Ravel Morrison was omitted from the squad with Kevin Nolan returning from suspension. Adrian kept his place in goal and despite his festive misdemeanours, James Tomkins lined up alongside James Collins in the centre of defence.
Arsenal named a strong side with Ramsey, Walcott, Ozil, Cazorla and Giroud all starting.
West Ham started brightly with Carlton Cole causing a number of difficulties for Mertesacker and Vermaulen in the centre of defence. Mark Noble played extremely well in the centre of midfield breaking up a number of Arsenal attacks. As usual, Arsenal were slow to start, but once they got into their stride were very difficult to live with. Crisp, fast passing but with Olivier Giroud up front, not a great deal of end product. Despite a slow start, at the halfway point, Arsenal had dominated 68% of possession and had the majority of the chances. Theo Walcott had the best chance at the end of the half when a scything through ball fell to him in the six yard box, the West Ham faithful praying for the offside flag which never appeared, somehow he managed to drive the ball wide. West Ham were hanging on, but went in at the break 0-0.
It seemed like a change of gameplan for the Irons at the break as we looked to soak up pressure and hit Arsenal on the counter attack. As we know, a plan executed with some aplomb against the hapless Spurs team at their place last October (sorry - I couldn't resist!)
Early in the half, after a broken down Arsenal attack, West Ham broke and a Diame ball into the box was half cleared to an unmarked Nolan on the edge of the 18 yard area. A powerful drive straight at the keeper caused Sczezny only to parry to the awaiting Carlton Cole who deftly popped the ball into the Arsenal net and a surprise 1-0 lead to the Hammers. I was doubly over the moon as I had Cole as first goal scorer so was in the money. A trip to the sportingbet lads was in order, only to find they had promptly cleared out halfway through the second half!
So it was back to the football and buoyed by a vocal Upton Park crowd, West Ham's counter attacking style continued to find openings in the wobbly Arsenal defence. We successfully soaked up the pressure and hit on the break with Diame and Joe Cole the main tormentors. One such ball into the box, left Carlton Cole six yards out with an open goal at his disposal. Sadly, he could only manage to shot wide and when Joey O'Brien's free header squirmed inches wide, nerves set in and you could feel it was not going to be our day.
Ramsey pulled up with what appeared to be a torn muscle and on came Lucas Podolski who.had an immediate effect on the game. However despite staunch defending from the East Londoners, after much pressure a Walcott shot managed to wriggle through the defence and flailing arms of Adrian to equalise for the Gunners. For the last 25 minutes the gulf in quality and indeed the lack of belief from  West Ham filtered through as the North Londoners piled forward. Kieran Gibbs played in a hugely advanced role and terrorised Joey O'Brien, to cause a straight swap for Guy Demel. It was to no avail sadly as a cross whipped in from the left and deflected off a West Ham defender straight into the path of Walcott who rifled it into the net, scoring his first ever goal in the Premier League with his head. Hard to believe? This is West Ham, don't forget!
The home side had all but thrown in the towel by now and further Arsenal passing and moving mesmerised our drained defence and some nice interplay saw Giroud lay off to Podolski who fired into the bottom right to seal the victory.
The game ended with West Ham in the attack, but really it was all said and done and a noble performance was never enough against such a high quality attack. That being said, we did exposé the Arsenal defence on a number of occasions and if we had a real striker of any quality, we would have gone 2-0 up and who knows what might have happened. As with so many games this year our lack of quality firepower cost us, but as always, when our best players return,  I am confident we will be fine.
Hilariously, Carlton Cole was named man of the match. This depresses me as it depicts the huge lack of ambition at the club really. It was indeed his misses and his absent performance for the most part of the second half that cost us dear. If anyone was man of the match, I would suggest Noble, who worked tirelessly against a world class midfield.
West Bromwich Albion at home followed by Fulham away on New Year's Day now become huge fixtures for us.
Merry Christmas one and all and a happy new year.

Bad leadership is better than no leadership - West Ham 0 - 0 Sunderland

The West Ham faithful sat through yet another stalemate at Upton Park, as Sunderland will rue missed opportunities to win the game.
Well, that is the last time I will be making any predictions before a West Ham United game. I was that confident, I put them in my acca, breaking one of my many gambling rules of fun. Don't back West Ham, or any team that is so woeful in front of goal for that matter. 
It all started so well, with the Man City and Arsenal goalfest, followed by some relatively pleasing team news from Big Sam. I think he picked the best team he had at his disposal, with Tomkins passing a late fitness test and Joe Cole coming into the starting line up. Nolan was suspended (a blessing in disguise I thought) so Ravel came back in and lined up with Jarvis, Noble and Diame to make up the midfield. Maiga kept his place up top after a fairly decent performance against Liverpool last week. 
This was touted as a 'must win' for both teams, yet I suppose being brutally honest, Sunderland needed it more than us. This was indeed evident by the way they started and kept up the relentless pace of the game. The Sunderland midfield hurried us off the ball and did not let us create any real chances of note. This was mirrored by Andre Marriner's shockingly poor refereeing decisions, leaving us with little to no chances in the first half with fans and players extremely frustrated. 
An example of Marriner's ineptitude came in the first half when West Ham had a free kick that big Ginger James Collins was lining up to boom into the box. Jozy Altidore, crept forward as a one man wall, causing Marriner to blow up and rightfully usher him back. He promptly ignored the ref's requests only to shuffle ever closer to the dead ball, much to the crowd's disgust. Altidore looked at the ref, the ref shrugged his shoulders before ushering Collins to get on with it, at which point Altidore leapt forward and at the point of contact was literally two yards from the dead ball. To add further insult to injury, the ball cannoned off the striker's right bum cheek and towards the West Ham half. Altidore, waiting for the referee's whistle and ensuing card/free kick, hears the golden sound of silence and finds himself through on goal and bearing down on Jussi. Due to being apoplectic with rage, I didn't see what happened, but he clearly didn't score. This most certainly would have been for the best as I daresay he would have had a few hundred West Ham fans wanting to send the boys 'round if he had.  
Sunderland continued to press hard and Jussi tipped a rifling effort onto the bar at the end of the half and West Ham continued to look, like headless, leaderless chickens.  
The second half started, subs came and went, they were all pretty useless and we continued to get played off the park by bottom of the pile Sunderland. Nerves were a jangle and the crowd remained quiet until the final 25 minutes or so where we tried fruitlessly to inspire this desperately misfiring team. It was to no avail and the game ended in a horrible 0-0 and Sunderland will quite honestly feel very hard done by. They had 59% of the possession and 19 shots on goal. Luckily we had a keeper who had one of his better games.  
My favourite part of the game was when Jack Collison came out for a cheeky little warm up at the start of the second half. He was eating a banana and managed to stretch, applaud the crowd and take a chunk of the fruit simultaneously, without a second thought. It was mightily impressive to say the least and I only wonder if he could transform these multi-tasking skills onto the pitch we might be onto something. Imagine a West Ham player who could run, look up and shoot at the same time, eh?  
I think Noble had his worst game so far this season. Jarvis was equally very poor. Maiga has the ability to jump really, really high. Like he seems to hang in the air for what seems like an age before ultimately missing the ball and bottling out of the subsequent tackle. Ravel ran around and around and around the opposition penalty box, either too frightened or too lazy to pull the trigger. James Collins continues to amaze me how he plays Premier League football, he literally offers nothing. His free-kicks are usually over hit and inaccurate and gone are the day of his aerial threat. At the death, he had a chance to win it with a clear header but the ball glanced off the side of his big ginger bonce and dribbled out for a goal kick, a beautiful and poignant metaphor for West Ham's general attacking threat at present. 
It was the first time I have been bored at West Ham this season, there really was nothing to shout about at all. We keep banging on about the striker situation but it's the least of our worries. The team have no belief and no drive at the moment which is a massive concern in a relegation scrap. I actually missed Nolan for a brief moment in the game, which goes to show what sort of a state we are in. 
I would not have been surprised to see the back of Big Sam this morning after such a feeble display at home. Also, I thought his post-match comments were laughable and embarrassing, praising the point and the clean sheet, bemoaning the fact that we needed 'just 1 goal in eight of the games' etc. etc. I wonder if Pellegrini sets his side up to think 'just one goal, that's all we need today.' It's farcical really, but hey ho this is West Ham United, where anything can happen.
Even before the game, Sullivan came out having a little whinge about Andy Carroll and his injury. Apparently he would not have signed him if he'd have known he would not have played so far this season. In other news, the publishing firms that rejected Harry Potter wished they had have given it another read and people are quite sad that Nelson Mandela died too. I mean really, what is the point? I wish our owners could keep their mouths shut at times and let the football (for better or worse) do the talking. 
Or at least spend some time thinking whether Big Sam is indeed still the man, from where I am looking, the players and fans seem to have lost faith. But these are owners who like to stand by their man, just like they did with Uncle Avram. We can only hope there is not the same result at the end of the season.
This week we go away to manager-less Spurs before a trip up north to the champions, Manchester United. That is followed by the visit of Arsenal on Boxing Day. This fan is a little anxious to say the least.   


Jussi 7*

Man of the match - kept us in the game
Demel 6
A solid game
Tomkins 7
Fights solidly for the cause - came bursting out of defence with some good runs
Collins 5
A bit of a liability for me
McCartney 5
Did northing of note - poor crossing
Noble 4
Looked a bit lost today
Diame 6
We are completely reliant on his bullocking runs
Joe Cole 5 
Without my rose-tinted JC specs on, nothing really of note today
Jarvis 4
Very, very poor
Morrison 5
Doesn't know what to do with the ball when he has it
Maiga 5
Tries hard - fails miserably

Big Sam's moment of truth? West Ham v Sunderland preview

When I bought my season ticket this year, I did not think a pre-Christmas fixture with Sunderland at home would be the make or break point of our season. Oh how quickly us Hammers forget, eh? There I was at the start, after the comfortable dispatching of Cardiff City, mulling over exactly what position in the top ten we would finish. Would we nick into a Europa spot? It could happen you know...
Well, it feels like a bicentennial age since Kevin Nolan boomed the ball into the top left corner and won the game for us. A majority of the rest of the season has been woeful to say the least, bar the master-class against Spurs and a home-drubbing of Fulham. Like that match two weeks ago, this one is also a must win.
A lot of West Ham fans have been wondering whether Big Sam will be sitting down to his turkey dinner a jobless man or indeed the manager of West Ham United for his third Christmas in a row. My gut feeling is the latter. These are owners who don't like to move managers on and as a club, loyalty is one of our better traits.
That being said, Gullivan must have learnt from the horrorshow under Avram Grant, where he was backed in the transfer window and even with the collective might of Parker, Ba and Robbie Keane going hammer and tongs, still couldn't keep us up.
Sunderland however are in a slightly more precarious position than us. Common sense tells us that Gus Poyet is probably slightly more clueless than dear old Sam at this juncture in their respective clubs and Sunderland do need this victory more. 
It will be the usual situation at Upton Park, with West Ham storming out of the blocks (like they did against Fulham) searching for that opening goal to calm and settle what will be a vociferous crowd. However, if the goal does not come, the crowd will turn and nerves begin to set in.
I for one am not too bothered about the injury news. Having been one of the more vocal detractors of Captain Kev this season, I am in fact glad to see him unavailable. I do not take for granted the excellent effect he has in the changing room and with the lads, my grievance is only poor form. As such, I am looking forward to Ravel  moving further up the pitch and see this as an excellent opportunity for him to show the world what he really can do.
If Tomkins does not make it, this will be a big miss. However, even with two broken legs, a torn hamstring,  a couple of black eyes, I still imagine the backroom staff would patch him up and send him out once more unto the breach.
I hope not to rue my overconfidence come Saturday night, but I do think our class will show through at some stage, why not now? As West Ham fans we have over-hypothesised this season too many times, but on the whole, there have been glimpses of some excellent play. Hopefully, with our backs to the wall and in our darkest time under Big Sam's reign, it will click tomorrow and ease the pressure on all and sundry. After all, let's face it, we don't want a new manager do we? Who is out there of any note? 
On a brighter note, Carroll's return looms ever nearer and Maiga on a law of averages has to score at some time. Diarra looks like he is out on his ear come January and the board have promised a decent striker in the window, so there is room for positivity come what may. Although nothing would make us more positive than a good three points, with a depleted side tomorrow. Come on you Irons! 

West Ham United 3 - 0 Fulham FC

West Ham went back to winning ways in the London derby against their relegation rivals. 

It was a must-win game for both teams and after the seemingly constant debate surrounding West Ham's tactics in recent weeks, Big Sam changed the formation and the personnel. Modibo Maiga came in as the lone striker and Mohamed Diame came into the team also, with Jack Collison and Ravel Morrison making way. 

I must say the atmosphere was electric in the Boleyn Ground on this cold, Saturday afternoon. The Fulham fans sadly only managed to muster a measly 1500 bums on seats, meaning the majority of the Trevor Brooking stand was filled with Happy Hammers. They most certainly made a noise, with a majority of the stand singing the whole afternoon. The players responded duly and had a number of good opportunities early on. Maiga started brightly and had a header ricochet off the crossbar in the opening ten minutes. The West Ham pressure continued and it was James Collins next, whose header found the side netting. 

The team were most certainly knocking on the door but found themselves frustrated time and time again by the quality of shot or chances eking just wide. This was typified by the captain Kevin Nolan being set up with pinpoint accuracy by Matt Jarvis. Nolan in acres of space, set up a scissor-kick volley, only to tamely tap his effort at goalkeeper Stekelburg. 

West Ham continued brightly but Fulham looked vaguely dangerous on the counter attack. Most of their fluidity came from the quite lively performance of Adel Taarabt who caused the defence a couple of hiccups, but no major problems. Despite the dominance, the half ended 0-0.

The second half started with chances at either end. However it was Steve Sidwell who lost the ball in the Fulham midfield, Maiga collided with Scott Parker, who fell to the ground in pain, yet the referee decided to play on, leaving Mo Diame in acres of space and ready to pull the trigger. The ball took a wicked deflection off a beleaguered Fulham defender and into the right hand corner, for the first goal of the afternoon and to the temporary relief of all and sundry in East London today. Cue chants of 'how sh*t must you be? We're winning at home.'

Nerves set in however and a number of chances at either end were spurned. The better of the chances were at the Bobby Moore end with Maiga and Downing amongst a few players who could and should have done better with their final product. 

On came the reinforcements to settle this once and for all, with Joe Cole, Carlton Cole and Ravel Morrison replacing Jarvis, Maiga and Nolan respectively. In all honesty, the quality from the bench proved far too much for a beleaguered Fulham side, who saw Ravel set up a pacey Downing flying down the right wing, who put the ball on a plate for none other than Carlton Cole to pop into the back of the net and make the game safe at 2-0. Once again, the home crowd erupted. Fear finally overcome by elation and the realisation that in fact we are a good team who can play some excellent football at this level. That being said, Fulham on the whole were woeful. Still, lets not ruin the party just yet! 

The quality of football was typified by a searing run by Ravel Morrison who literally skipped past four Fulham players and looking to go the whole way himself, unselfishly pulled back for Joey Cole to fire into the bottom left hand corner for another deserved Hammer's goal. 3-0, thanks for coming.  

If one was to be critical, we could and should have put the game to bed earlier on. But credit to Sam and the players who continued to attack Fulham until the game was won. The team selection worked well too with Mo Diame providing much needed strength in midfield and Maiga, despite the criticism, having a very good game. If only he had played more, he might have pouched one or two of the chances that came his way. 

So a brief climb up the table and onto Crystal Palace at Selhurst Park on Tuesday night. Here is hoping the mighty Irons can make it two wins out of two, something they have not done since their return to the Premier League. Although Tony Pulis and a dogged Palace team will have something to say about that. 

Jussi 6
Not much to do but solid
Demel 7
Much better after his howler against Chelsea
Tomkins 7
Solid as usual
Collins 6
Often moves out of position but not caught against this oppo
McCartney 6
A solid return to the side
Noble 7
Played well as always
Diame 7
A poor first half but grew in confidence and his goal was obviously vital
Jarvis 7
Good distribution
Downing 7 
Some good opportunities - needs to get his shooting boots on
Nolan 5
Better - still not blowing my skirt up 
Maiga 6
A good game overall - wish he was more committed in 50/50s


Ravel Morrison 7
An absolute livewire from the bench
Carlton Cole 8
Well it had to be didn't it? Second touch and points secured
Joe Cole 8 (MOM) 
Marvellous play, goal and response from last week 

West Ham United 0 - 3 Chelsea

A toothless and lacklustre display ensured the Hammers were well beaten by their West London rivals at Upton Park.

Having never been to this fixture before, I was excited to say the least. I assumed there would be nothing less than a gutsy performance, matched with an electric atmosphere-neither of these materialised. Chelsea were impressive in patches but it was the Irons who carved out the better opportunities in the opening minutes. West Ham continued to pass the ball well and found a couple of openings through Stewart Downing on the left hand side to no avail.

            Frank Lampard as always, found himself the butt of the home-faithful jokes and right in the centre of the action. It was he who had the last laugh in the 21st minute, when Guy Demel fluffed a backpass to the helpless Jaaskalienen, the veteran keeper had no opportunity to come rushing out to heed the danger. Sadly his 38-year old legs were not as nimble as those of Oscar’s for the Blues and the West Ham keeper sent him tumbling for an undisputable Chelsea penalty.

            Up steps East London’s not-so favourite son to fire into the roof of the net and put Chelsea 1-0 up. Cue OTT celebrations from a man who should really know better and the atmosphere started heating up.

            In the Trevor Brooking Lower, there are a number of what I would call ticking timebombs. Old fellows who lived through the dark days of the 70s, in black bomber jackets and lengthy trenchcoats. There are winks and nods to security guards. Everyone seems to know each other except me and there is a feeling that the place could erupt at any minute and it did as soon as the penalty hit the back of the net. The West Ham faithful launched themselves towards the Prawn sandwich brigade with ferocity, shoes were being waved in the air, police were panicking – I have no idea about the shoes by the way, however it was carnage.

            The Chelsea travelling fans replied with the affluent nonchalance we have come to expect nowadays. Gone are the fiery encounters of the eighties and even nineties, the social divide now plain for all to see. It was like a doctor taking a blood sample from a patient, except in 2013 the patient is Chelsea and the sample is footballing passion.

            Anyway back to the action and Chelsea were well in control. The way they passed and moved with confidence was sublime at times with Oscar and Hazard proving the hub of the majority of their attacks.

            West Ham were not without their chances too. A ball played into the box, landed in the melee and struck goalwards by Joe Cole, only to be whipped clear by the Chelsea defense.

            After 34 minutes another defensive lapse put the Blues 2-0 up. Calamity-a-game James Collins went sprinting to meet the sprightly Oscar, leaving himself woefully out of position and the defense vulnerable. Quite predictably, he was turned by the young star who headed goalwards and snuck a low drive into the bottom corner.

            2-0 down at home with little more than half an hour gone and Big Sam was prompted into action. A double substitution with Mo Diame and Modibo Maiga brought on in place of Jack Collison and Joe Cole. It was not a popular decision mind you, especially pulling off Cole, whose shirt was promptly ripped off and thrown somewhere in the vicinity of the subs bench. ‘You don’t know what you’re doing’ rang around the ground as the fans turned on the manager whose insistence on the 4-6-0 had seemingly got us into this mess in the first place. Ho hum.

            It was clear that a lot of fans left at half time as West Ham started the second half slightly brighter but Chelsea having the better opportunities. Impressive, attacking moves resulted in Lampard nearly getting on the end of another Chelsea attack. It was coming.

            West Ham in fairness passed the ball better in the second half and did dominate periods of possession. Ravel picked out some lovely passes and wide balls, but once again up front we were toothless. At the risk of repeating myself once again, how can Kevin Nolan remain on the pitch when as the leader of our ‘attack’ he consistently fails to make an impression on the goal? It beggar’s belief. Maybe Big Sam’s sheer stubbornness will be the death of him, I fear anything but a win against Fulham and the big man is in a lot of trouble.

            Eventually, with 15 minutes to go, Big Sam relented and brought on Matt Jarvis for his ever-present leader. I was quite surprised to hear boos go around the ground when Nolan came off and only a spattering of handclaps also. Perhaps, the tide is seriously beginning to turn at Upton Park. Whilst reading the programme notes at half time, Nolan talks of his desire to lead the team out at the Olympic Stadium. This sent a shiver of harrowing fear down my spine as I read. God forbid!

            By this stage, I had seen enough and headed for the toilet, before the walk to the car. A thunderous roar came from above me as Lampard’s second and Chelsea’s third went in, I bolted for the cold East London air.

            In brighter news, I didn’t get a £65 parking ticket and managed to stick the car close to the A13 for a hasty exit. Also, I was petrified about the bitter cold on this London evening but this too was managed with aplomb by moi. Armed with my wife’s leggings as long johns and my daughter’s West Ham socks over mine, I felt relatively cosy whilst Chelsea pulled our pants down. Trev 1, Life 0.

            So, what next for West Ham United? It does seem that the penny has dropped for Big Sam regarding the striker situation. If the papers are to be believed the Irons are in for every aging striker across Europe, so in some respects that is a positive sign. The numerous other questions remain however. Why sign Carlton Cole and not play him? Was it a Sullivan signing? Why does one of our best players, Diame not start? When he does play why he is on the sodding wing? Why, oh why does Kevin Nolan continue to get the nod? Where is the fight in the dog?

            Next Saturday we host Fulham at home and this has truly become a must win game for the Irons.

Jussi 6

Doesn’t like coming out to crosses.

Demel 5

Has skill – but defensive error cost us

Tomkins 6

Solid

Collins 4

Groan. Another defensive lapse costs us

O’Brien 6

Fine

Downing 6

Lost of endeavour - very little cutting edge

Collison 5

Taken off after 40 minutes

Cole 6

Taken off after 40 minutes

Noble 6 (MOM)

Lots of endeavour – still playing well

Ravel 6

Picks a great pass – our best player but needs to pull the trigger more

Nolan 4

Good at chasing down the opposition keeper

Hull City 1 - 0 West Ham United

Another week, another conversation about the referee. What is it about these guys? Perhaps Big Sam gives them the hump from the off with his hooting and hollering. I don't know but I don't think I have ever seen a softer penalty in my life. 12 minutes gone after a bright West Ham start, Brady goes down like a sack of spuds after the slightest of contact from Joey O Brien, penalty Hull City. O'Brien was looking at the ball yet Mr. Friend deemed it worthy of a spot kick in what would prove to be the decisive goal in the match.
Now there has been a lot of doom mongering amongst the West Ham faithful about terrible starts and easy teams played. Also the fact that we have not scored away from home in seven hours, doesn't make pretty reading. However, if you do your homework it is not all doom and gloom.  We had 60% of possession and had two more shots on target than the Tigers. It was a bad time to play Hull as they are riding the crest of a wave at the minute, which a la Blackpool, I can't see lasting forever. They didn't create anything else really and Bruce's excellent organisation prevented what looked like a certain West Ham goal. Tomkins header was cleared off the line and any other day could have gone in not to mention in the second half Roland Rat fired wide when really he should have scored.
The final saving grace is that dear Mr. Friend twisted the knife slightly more by not awarding the Hammers a second half penalty. Jake Livermmore stuck his arm out, moved towards the ball, the ball hit his arm, no penalty. It was a blatant one, still no dice for the irons.
So plenty of reason to feel aggrieved but after mulling the result and performance over, I am not too concerned. Yes we have a tough run, yes we still haven't scored, but we dominated the game and really deserved to win. We have had some atrocious luck and as has been widely documented the make up of the side is not quite right at present.
It was pleasing to see Tomkins back in the line up who didn't put a foot wrong. He provides a far greater aerial threat than any other of our defenders from set pieces and I think he could form a formidable partnership with Reidy at the back for years to come.
Ravel stills looks like a beautiful little dynamo and is causing a fascinating headache for Big Sam as the big boys like Cole and Downing return from injury. It will be interesting to see if he has the cajones to drop Kevin Nolan as I believe he rightly should on recent performances. Not to mention the fact that he could have very easily been sent off for a two-footed challenge on Leroy Rosenior in the opening ten minutes, his performances have been lacklustre of late.
So I am remaining positive - could actually see the irons getting something over at White Hart Lane next week and spoiling their party for once. Lest we not forget despite the disappointing start, we have had injuries and two weeks now of refereeing howlers. Our squad is stronger and more capable than this time last year. Obviously there are the striking issues, but sooner or later the luck has to turn and we find ourselves on the receiving end of some refereeing generosity. Defoe sent off, Noble penalty,  West Ham 1-0 next week? Dare to dream guys..!

Jussi 6
Went wrong way for penalty. Otherwise solid
Rat 6
Getting better each week. missed a howler
Joey O'Brien 7
Well played. Desperately unlucky for the penalty
Tomkins 7
Solid and an aerial threat
Reid 7
Very good as usual
Noble 7
Typically energetic
Diame 6
Out of position and struggling
Nolan 5
Poor once again. Could have been sent off
Jarvis 6
Not a lot too write home about
Morrison 7 *
Getting better ever game
Maiga 5
Gettting better. Still little goalscoring threat

Vaz Te 6
Could be worth a start soon
Downing 5
Poor. Not one good cross
Petric 6
Not hugely effective today

Southampton 0 – 0 West Ham United

West Ham managed to cling on for a valuable point on a dismal afternoon at St. Mary’s Stadium.

            The Irons started brightly with Mo Diame looking in bullish mood as he powered his way into the box and was denied by the outstretched Boruc early on. Chances though were few and far between for the Hammers as Southampton enjoyed a majority of the possession and shots on target. After a frenetic start, the game became affected by the howling wind and lashing rain, causing the final ball to tend to go missing when it mattered. It didn’t though when Osvaldo had the best chance of the game only to be denied by the diving Jaaskeleinen.

            West Ham did however have a perfectly good goal disallowed for offside. Matt Jarvis made a rare break and blasted the ball into Boruc’s midriff. The ball fell kindly to Nolan who slotted it in from long range, only to see the linesman’s flag raised. Replay’s showed Jarvis was indeed onside.

            In the second half Southampton piled on the pressure and once again it was the outstanding Jussi who kept us in the game.

            The Irons had a golden opportunity to nick it at the end when the ball fell on a plate to James Collins who had all the time in the world to pick his spot and clear off celebrating. True to form however, he blazed the ball miles over the bar, much to the despair of the traveling Claret and Blue Army.

On the whole a poor game which lacked any real quality in the final third. Lots of crosses were over hit and quality chances were few and far between. After a couple of weeks of disappointment for Hammer’s fans, I suppose a point will do. Yet the elephant in the room continues to rear its head, with Maiga once again being ineffective and West Ham lacking any real cutting edge.

            It was pleasing to see Big Sam give Ravel his first premier league start however. The lad played well in a tricky game dominated by the midfield.

 So, 5 points from 4 games, a pleasing defensive performance but deep concerns about our attacking options up front.

            Next week, we entertain Everton who come to the Boleyn fresh from their victory over Mourinho’s Chelsea.

Jussi 10

Outstanding. Kept us in the game

Demel 7

Played well – went off injured

Winston Reid 7

Solid as usual

James Collins 6

Played well. Missed a golden chance to win the game

Joey O’ Brien 6

Ok – could have been sent off for a rash challenge

Mark Noble 6

Solid but uninspiring

Ravel Morrison 6

Fine on his Premier League debut

Mo Diame 6

Started well – quietened down after a bad challenge

Kevin Nolan 5

Moaned and groaned – not a lot of firepower

Matt Jarvis 6

Uncharacteristically quiet

Maiga 4

Not cutting the mustard at all

Razvan 5

Fair performance

Vaz Te 4

Largely ineffective

The transfer merry-go-round

By: Trevor Twohig

Is anyone else confused about the dealings in the transfer market? The media circus reached its heady crescendo on Monday night with only three stories of any real interest.
Number one, Gareth Bale moved to Real Madrid. Shock horror this one. Moving swiftly on to number two, Man United dare I say it, paying well over the odds for Maroune Fellaini. It is hardly the statement that Moyes wanted to make at the beginning of his tenure, surely? Yes he knows the player well, but has everyone forgotten Fellaini’s headbutting incident at Stoke last year? An unproven player at the top-level seemingly, with a short fuse. Risky business for Man United and smacked a little of desperation for me.

Finally, Arsenal’s signing of Mesut Ozil to smash their transfer record. Did I miss something here? Were Arsenal fans desperate for Wenger to sign yet another midfielder? Granted Ozil is a top class player and I hope he does well. I am just interested to see how he will slot into a midfield alongside Santi Cazorla, Jack Wilshere, Aaron Ramsey et al.

Rosicky’s playing out of his skin and let us not forget the returning Mathieu Flamini from Milan to bolster the squad. Interesting times lay ahead for Arsenal and Wenger has indeed papered over the cracks with a big money signing. But the lack of a world class striker and a lumbering central defence will prevent them launching any sort of title challenge, methinks.

The most outrageous transfer story has to be found at Upton Park though in my opinion. After months of trying to lure Andy Carroll to the Boleyn, it finally happens to rapturous applause from large swathes of West Ham fans, including me. Great signing for us and things were looking splendid at the start of the transfer window.

Then came Stewart Downing, another good Premier League player who I think will do well for us. But this cost the whole of our transfer budget and took player wages to the top-level; the eyebrow-raising £70,000 a week for Downing, being the nail in that particular coffin.

Did Gold and Sullivan not think earlier in the window we would need to offload some of the fringe players? Was it not patently obvious that if we are trying to build towards a utopian future at the forefront of English football (the Olympic Stadium is a Grade 4 UEFA stadium, don’t you know!), then some of the old guard would need to be moved on? Clearly not.

As such we have Matty Taylor, Ricardo Vaz Te, Modibo Maiga, Alou Diarra and Stephen Henderson who should not get anywhere near our first team with the aspirations we have. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for the service from the likes of Taylor and Vaz Te, but are we a club looking to survive at the bottom or push for the top half?

I appreciate I may be getting slightly ahead of myself here, we have only been back in the Premier League for one season. But in the same breath, we don’t have a striker! Allardyce hopes that Carroll may play some role in the Southampton game. Alarm bells here anyone?

Back in the Building: Carlton Cole's return is imminent

As I was working myself up into quite a state regarding the transfer debacle, I thought to myself, ‘If only we still had trusty, loyal Carlton Cole to turn to…’ and lo and behold, he is in negotiations to return. As Big Sam comes to the table, tail firmly between legs, I will dust off my ‘Sex, Drugs and Carlton Cole’ t-shirt and pray, just pray that Andy Carroll can get fit.

West Ham United 2 - 0 Cardiff City

Well, it finally arrived. After all the Sky Sports hype and media nonsense, the season started fairly innocuously for West Ham fans. Downing's arrival was welcomed but really all the press was aimed at Cardiff and their rampant return to the Premier league. I for one, was extremely excited about the mighty irons and how they would fare. I was not brought up in a football family you see. My parents came to this country and the football lifestyle was alien to them and my love for it derived from it being a foreign concept. The only football we watched would be what we got on terrestrial tele in the 80's. Going to a football match? That would take time, effort and money and my Dad for one wasn't going to get involved in all that malarkey.

So buying my first ever West Ham season ticket was a huge thing for me. Call it what you want acceptance, understanding whatever but I felt like I was in some elite club when the card arrived on the doorstep. Like a Willy Wonka Golden ticket...as long as we didn't slip up to bloody Cardiff!

I remember watching West Ham lose to Cardiff City in the first game back in the Championship two seasons ago. We had the Real Madrid of the league for that game. Parker, Nolan, Noble all in midfield who absolutely dominated the game. We lost to a late, late goal from that swine Kenny Miller and as I turned the TV off, I still remember the feeling of utter dread - what if we don't come back up?

Thankfully Big Sam sorted us out and we mercilessly dismantled Cardiff in the play-offs on the way to promotion and it was this thought I kept with me as I sat in the queue to get through the Blackwall Tunnel. It seems like every person in the world was trying to get to East London today, but luckily I found a car parking space off Barking Road, much to the disdain of the home owners standing, having a chat outside as I majestically reversed it in. I swear the locals have no idea what is going on. Just once a week, thousands of people come and park outside of their homes, dressed in purple and then bugger off a few hours later.

Anyway, the car was abandoned but Green Street was buzzing.  Fellas taking videos of the hordes with their phones, the whole place a sea of claret and blue. I was sitting in the Trevor Brooking Lower and boy was I rewarded for this decision. The best banter, chants etc. I have ever had at West Ham bar none. The pundits always talk about the ground rocking but today it really was as the teams came out.

Our attention was jolted slightly by a Cardiff fan who elected to set off a flare in the away end. That's right folks, a flare. This caused great amusement amongst the West Ham fans, and the security moved in and quickly ejected the culprits. Thanks for coming.

The game started furiously and West Ham were quite clearly in the ascendency. Lots of chances, threatening from set pieces and the new kit looked bang on! Happy days. Our perseverance was rewarded when the effervescent Matt Jarvis skinned Connolly and powered a low cross into the middle. Joe Cole pirouetted like he was at the ballet and slotted it into the bottom right corner on 13 minutes. 1 - 0. For me, this start could not have been better. I absolutely love Joe Cole and the fact that he looks fit and up for it this year could not make me happier. I remember the year when we went down and he captained the team and played up front, midfield, brought out the oranges, you name it. And he was only a youngster, true West Ham legend in my opinion.

West Ham continued to knock on the door to no avail and in all honesty both teams were a little rusty. Cardiff City looked dangerous on the break, especially through Kim, but Bellamy got booed horrifically every time he got the ball and proceeded to have an absolute shocker. Whats the old adage? If Bellamy plays well, Cardiff play well. Sadly for the travelling support, not today.

The PA system blared out 'Security, Mr. Moon is in the building' a number of times around the halfway mark. God knows what this even means, but my ears were pricked and I was ready for action, whatever was coming my way.

Cardiff started brightly in the second half and for some reason like we always seem to do, we sat back and allowed them to come at us. They had a few good chances but really lacked any firepower in the final third. A bizarre penalty claim for handball, resulted in a chorus of 'handball!' every time a West Ham player passed the ball and when Bellamy was withdrawn for another West Ham old boy Nicky Maynard, Cardiff looked all but beaten. It was nice to see some West Ham fans salute old Bellamy, who did work hard for us when he was here, plus Maynard also got an appreciative welcome to thank him for his efforts in getting us promoted.

'Security, Mr. Moon has left the building.' Thank goodness for that, I can now relax and finish my Bovril in peace. Oh hang on a minute, who is this I see about to come on? None other than Mr. Stewart Downing! He got a warm reception too and it was a shame to see Matty Jarvis come off for him, as the two together could be quite a force when Andy Carroll returns.

Downing started very brightly, had pace and caused a few concerns for the Bluebird's defence. In fact, Downing was at the start of the move that created the second goal, knocking it off to Noble who ran at the Cardiff defenders. He found Nolan in space, who hit it first time into the top left hand corner - game, set and match.

A fantastic goal, well deserved for Nolan who tirelessly works hard for the team. If he is not running at the goalie, he is screaming at Maiga to get in the right position. So all was well, but what ho, yet another PA announcement...'Security, Mr. Moon is back in the building.' Oh Jesus, what are we going to do? And who is this guy some sort of stealth ninja, felling the security team one by one, leaping the pasty stand in a single bound? God only knows, but I for one was keeping a low profile.

So the game was won, Joe Cole was substituted late on, largely to receive a standing ovation from the Boleyn faithful methinks. The only downside was that we really do have concerns upfront. Maiga had one decent chance that went just wide, he did win a few headers but he really is not threatening enough. This does put an awful lot of pressure on Carroll when he returns, so I think Big Sam is going to have to get someone else in.

I was also disappointed not to see Ravel Morrison get a cameo. He has been tearing up trees in pre-season and at 2 - 0 could have been worth a shout. But hey ho, the fans always know best don't they?
Luckily for me, Mr. Moon had left the building once more and I was free to go on my merry way along with 35000 very happy hammers.